The Fall of Schaefer 2012 - in a good way

Whew, where did the last third of 2012 go?? Various entries were blogged over the last four months involving Schaefer, but the last update of the overall happenings of the Schaefer Hall of Fame and Ring of Honor was in September 2012. The SHOF and SROH has brought it since then. So here we go.

Labor Day weekend

Yours truly hit the poor man's version of a scratch-off lotto. TMC called into a local sports talk radio show to talk NASCAR with Monte Dutton. Unbeknownst to me, two NASCAR Camping World Truck tickets to the Atlanta race were on the line for the best caller of the segment - and I got it. Ka-ching. My name then went into a drawing for a mack-daddy prize of tickets to ALL the Atlanta races ... plus hotel ...  plus luxury suites ... plus pit passes. And...

BAM!!!

When I went to pick up my prize, I wanted to make sure I took care of the folks who took care of me. So I had some co-workers help rally some Schaefer bows for the beer I gave to a couple of the station's folks - you know, to show I cared.

SROH member Rick and his new lady friend, Cara, joined us for the Friday night Camping World Truck Series race and the rest of the weekend's Schaefer festivities.

When the *crack* of the pull tab sounded, a PYT behind us tapped me on the shoulder and seductively (or drunkenly?) asked over the roar of the truck engines "whazzat?" When I confidently replied "Schaefer - and its not just for racing anymore" she returned a great, genuine, southern gal laugh. I promptly found an extra for her to enjoy.

Her husband, boy friend, male friend, or whatever he was returned from a convo with his buds and held out his hand. I held his gaze a moment but pulled a Soup Nazi on him by stating emphatically "No Schaef for you."

On Saturday, we enjoyed milling about souvenir row. Well ... not exactly. Who's kidding who? The race crap is overpriced and under-quality - and it was friggin' STEAMING. Only logical thing to do was find a modicum of shade and pound Schaefer. So we did!

But then we spotted Speed Channel's Trackside stage, and I had an idea. During each week's Speed shows - Trackside, Raceday, Victory Lane - numbskull fans are always shown holding signs they've made. So in Atlanta, I decided to join 'em.

After SROH member Buddy took the photo below, I tried to position myself to see if I could make the show. Sure enough, with one eye on the monitor and one eye on Krista Voda's ... feet, I staked my position. Boom - there it was. For a couple of moments as Krista opened Trackside live, my sign and Schaefer can were clearly visible over her shoulder. If only I could find the opening on YouTube...

A couple of hours later, SHOFer Bruton landed at the track, called, and said something to the effect of "OK fellers, a surprise awaits." With a good bit of reluctance but with some curiosity and a commitment to other SHOFers, we sought him out. With a Georgia grin on his face, he whipped out three Old Style tall boys. And you think SCHAEFER is tough to drink? Whew. Dude.

Rick's lady friend, Cara, went from friendly to arrogant because as a race rookie of only one week she called Denny Hamlin to win at Bristol ... and he did. So afterwards she bought a Denny koozie. Begrudgingly though, I'll give her credit because she called for Denny to win again at Atlanta ... and he did.

As the Nationwide race time drew near, it was time for Buddy and me to part from our friends and head for the luxury suites. Any other time, I prefer to be with my race peeps in the stands with the sights, sounds, smells and flavors of racing. But when its free? Hey - I'm all over it and will bail on you in a New York minute.

With that as a toomuchcountry unwavering premise, you can probably surmise why this charter member SHOFer enjoyed a few cold Budweisers. That's right - because they were free! Sometimes you have to walk on the dark side.

On Sunday, Cup race day, we started our morning with another round of cold Schaefers and some Bertman's Cleveland Ballpark mustard on brats freshly grilled by Bruton. We enjoyed the mustard in honor of Cleveland's SHOFer Uncle Dave who couldn't join us for this trip. SCHA-LOOT UDR!

To again commemorate the SHOF's 20th Anniversary in 2012, SHOFer Bruton and SROH member Buddy joined me in enjoying Schaefer tall boys orphaned from May's All Star Race and Coke 600 weekends.

As the sun began to set, Buddy and I again made our way to our cozy, air-conditioned suite seats high above the start-finish line. I realized no race trip would be complete without a smuggled Schaefer to enjoy during the Cup pre-race festivities.

What it was, was football

Autumn not only means the beginning of NASCAR's Chase for the Championship but also the start of the college football season. SHOFers Rev. Randy and Cuba enjoyed a tall, cool one at an Appy State game in Boone, North Carolina.

As football weather became crisper, SHOFer Kuzzin Kari and 2012 Schaefer Racing Cornhole Co-Champion Kristi tailgated at the Carolina Panthers game. Though they were out of Schaefer to enjoy, Kari did make sure to bring her credentials to celebrate in spirit.

Between the Atlanta race and the full immersion into Georgia Dawgs football, SHOFer Bruton found an opportunity to drop a line.  I'm heard some whopper fishing tales over the years, but this one may top them all. Bruton claims he had to go to war with this catfish after it stole and downed a couple of his cold Schaefs. The situation went from fishing to personal.

Arrrrrr...

In mid-September, I spoke at a conference in Orlando, FL. With a bit of pre-trip research, I learned about Celebration Town Tavern near the Disney parks. They claim to have 99 beers available for sale. Sure enough, one of them was Schaefer! So on September 18th...

But as the slogan goes, Schaefer is the one beer to have when you're having more than one. So I did.

A day later on September 19th, I again saw an opportunity to have some Schaefer fun and seized it. September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Using me maps, I scoured ze lands of Orlando and happened upon me Schaefer at Publix.

I secured da booty in me luggage and sailed back home aboard ze airplane.

The calendar turned to October, and again I was afforded the opportunity to be a Schaefervangelist. For an internal training / team building week, each employee of our department was asked to have their picture made with something unique to help others remember who they are. Sold!

Being a team player, I also took several cans of Schaefer bootlegged from places such as Philadelphia and Orlando to share with my co-workers.

Both of the female co-workers shown here were soon promoted. My comment to them was "Congrats! Clearly it was your enjoyment of Schaefer that put you over the top." One responded "Thanks! You know, it really wasn't that bad." BINGO! Truer words have never been spoken as previously documented in this space.

NASCAR Bank of America 500 - Charlotte Motor Speedway

As always, SHOF charter member Philly hosted a great, Schaefer-laden, tailgating party just outside of Charlotte Motor Speedway.

After an initial visit in May during the All Star Race tailgating fun, the Portuguese Assassin returned to again sample the Schaef. Not only does he have a good taste in beer, but I also applaud him for returning to where he knows to score a free one. 

A couple from the Lone Star state of Texas - Richard and Maria - made their first trip to Charlotte for a race. Reports from Philly were Richard enjoyed it - or at least thoughtfully critiqued "Its not that bad." I'm not sure about Maria. She looked to me like she was taking a urine sample somewhere. Paging Jeremy Mayfield. Mr. Mayfield?

The latest inductee to the SHOF, Kuzzin Kari, made sure to stop by to create strength in numbers for the Hall on race weekend.

TMC couldn't join my fellow SHOFers in Charlotte because I was committed to yet another conference - this one in San Antonio, Texas. (where the corporate HQ of Pabst Brewing happens to be - the current owner of the Schaefer brand). Gotta problem with all the training I get to attend? Leave your complaint in the comments box below, and I'll be sure to delete it ASAP. Thank you.

One night, all were encouraged to get face paintings. *Sigh* Really? That's just not my thing - until. An idea, a wink, a smile and an iPhone image search by a friend soon had me sitting me in the artist's chair so he could render this freehand.

South Florida Schaefer

SHOFer Uncle Dave relocated from Cleveland to south Florida in October. With his priorities firmly in order, he got a case of Schaef cold in his new refrigerator shortly after arriving...

... and posted signage where he devotes his most intense personal reflection time.

Then after unloading his truck, setting up his new place a bit and chilling the good stuff, he grabbed his lawn chair and drove the short distance needed to take in some short-track racing at Punta Gorda Speedway near Ft. Myers, FL.

As SHOFer Uncle Dave began to settle in, he began to educate himself about his new surroundings. He learned the genus and species of the Florida Boxwood is the Schaefferia-Frutescens. Uncle Dave believes its loosely interpreted as the fruity scent of Schaefer. While I'm not convinced his understanding of Latin is solid, I am convinced of his commitment to Schaef. So ... Boxwood, wood box, whatever. Its all good.

 

November

A rare opportunity presented itself as the end of the year closed in. An original, Schaefer racing uniform once worn by Kevin Cogan went up for bid on ebay. Cogan raced for Schaefer / Machinists Union / Playboy Fashions in the CART series in the late 1980s.

While many of us laughed about the possibility of owning such a treasure, none of us had the stones, wallet, or waist size to actually go for it. Except for one of us. SHOFer Cuba declared "I'm in." With a short time remaining, Cuba placed his bid. But ohhhh mannnn, another bidder sniped the uni with just a few seconds remaining.

Whoever you are, there is no way you'll be able to enjoy your purchase as much as Cuba and other SHOFers could have. As a consolation, we imagined what Cuba might have looked like rocking the Schaefer Beer / Playboy Fashions uni next spring at Charlotte.

November wound down with the country's national day of Thanksgiving. Bruton served up a deep-fried, Buffalo-seasoned, whole chicken accompanied by the remaining Schaefer tall boy of 2012. My level of thanks would have been much greater had he bothered to share any of it with the rest of the SHOFers.

December

The yuletide season - the time of year for garish Christmas decorations and pure enjoyment of Schaefer. SHOFer Rookie decked out his deck with the red-and-green lights of the season (What? Red-and-GOLD strands weren't available?) and enjoyed a cold one with his pup, Schaefer.

SHOFer Kuzzin Kari jumped back into the action by dressing a random neighbor's inflatables in her former SROH shirt. I'm still trying to convince her to do the same by sitting on a Perv Santa's lap at the mall.

A true highlight for me was to toast a Schaefer with my Uncle Ronald. He introduced me to racing when I was a kid back in the mid 70s. He began driving Chryslers and Plymouths in the early 60s, and began pulling for Richard Petty because King Richard was a Mopar man too.

When he told me I had to pull for Ol' Blue 43 ... or else, I believed him. In short order, I became a fan on my own terms vs. his. Over the years, my uncle and I have shared our share of beer - but never a Schaefer until this year. The ODB Cancer popped him for a second time this year, and he is handling it with a great deal of medical care, dignity, and humor ... and beer I suppose.

So with 2012 behind us and 2013 occupying the full view of our windshields, the Schaefer Hall of Fame and Ring of Honor wish you a Happy New Year.

 TMC

Possible Petty Sponsors?

Growing up, NASCAR's Silly Season applied to everyone else's favorite driver or team but not mine. As a Richard Petty fan, it was simply a given The King would open the season at Riverside's road course in a day-glo red, Petty Blue, STP-sponsored 43 car with Dale Inman as crew chief and Maurice "Chief" Petty as head engine builder.

The first WTH moment for me to challenge that thought was the 1983-1984 off-season. Petty left his family-owned team for Curb Motorsports. He scored wins at Dover and the iconic #200 at Daytona on July 4, 1984. It was, otherwise, a pretty rough stretch at Curb. But, he did drive an STP 43 car ... and he returned to Petty Enterprises in 1986 where he continued to drive through his retirement as a driver in 1992 with 43, STP and Dale Inman on the box.

Once the King retired from driving, Petty Enterprises went through a fair number of average drivers from 1993 through 2008. Drivers like Sick Wilson, Wally Fallinback, Jeff Gangreen, Bucksnot Jones, Christian Pitifuldi, etc. Fans saw a glimmer or two of hope with some good runs and three wins by Bobby Hamilton and John Andretti. And the story is well told of what the Pettys had hoped as its driver of the future: Adam Petty. But the hopes didn't play out as designed - and that's life. For the most part, STP hung in the pocket with many of those drivers.

What I did not anticipate, however, was the eventual collapse of Petty Enterprises. The 2008 acquisition by Boston Ventures and subsequent merger with Gillett Evernham Motorsports were disasters. A 2010 recapitalization of the team by Andrew Murstein and Doug Bergeron have given me a glimmer of renewed optimism, but each successive season has continued to be a tough way to go for the team.

Long gone is STP's predictable sponsorship of the 43. Now the more recently created Richard Petty Motorsports teams seem to struggle annually with locking in sponsorship dollars. Its a good thing cars are wrapped in vinyl these days instead of being painted because the Petty crews would go crazy trying to keep up with the painting for the myriad of sponsors and schemes that now adorn the 43.

The economics of the sport now dictate that most teams need multiple sponsors to run a full season. OK, I get it. Yet its frustrating to go from one season to another not knowing who the RPM sponsors are, what their funding commitment will be, who the primary will be, and will it be a company to create excitement for me as a fan.

Having said that, one aspect of Petty car that fans have loved since 1960 is the unmistakable hue of Petty Blue. The shade just pops off the track and catches the eye. (As opposed to the wretched neon Menard's yellow or garish GoDaddy green that jumps off the track and tries to make one hurl whatever Schaefer you've consumed.)

In my opinion, several companies, brands, products, and services would look ideal on the 43. If only RPM could sign 'em up to supplement their existing great sponsors such as Smithfield Foods and the United States Air Force. Here are a few examples.

Alka-Seltzer - I know The King is a long-time pitchman for Goody's Headache Powders, and the line between their products and Alka Setzer may be a fuzzy one (or a fizzy one?). But I'm certain arrangements could be made.

Alka-Seltzer had an extended sponsorship in NASCAR in the 1980s with its support of Jimmy Means. The base color would need to be tweaked a bit to darken it to Petty Blue, but I guarantee Petty fans would yell Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz, Oh what a relief it is! when the 43 finally got back to victory lane.

Aquafina - How about the ubiquitous water bottle? Aquafina is a Pepsico product. Before Kyle Petty returned to Petty Enterprises in the late 1990s with a personal services agreement with Coca-Cola, The King was a lifelong Pepsi man. In 2013, Kyle is no longer with the company, Petty Enterprises itself is no more, and RPM has an opportunity to help a company. Though Aquafina's background blue is not quite Petty blue, I believe both sides could reach a satisfactory compromise. After all, if The King and Andy Granatelli could work out their differences on an all day-glo STP red car vs. an all Petty blue car in 1972, I think Pepsico and RPM could resolve a few shades of blue or white tint.

Aqua Velva - Let's stay with the 'aqua' theme a moment. C'mon, cheap cologne and NASCAR fans? Natural fit, right? With Aqua Velva as a sponsor, Petty may even draw in some old school Earnhardt fans. Baa-doomp-BAH!

Aqua Velva and NASCAR? Maybe its not as far-fetched as one might think. Back in 1999, the brand sponsored Rich Bickle in about a half-dozen Busch Series race.

Credit: Jayski's 1999 Busch Series Paint Schemes Page

GE Healthcare - Obamacare is the law of the land. Obama said it. Congress didn't read the bill but voted for it anyway. The Supreme Court upheld it. And apparently the folks of the Grand Experiment we call 'merica *sigh* voted for more of it. Technology in healthcare is increasing with increasing speed. So GE seems like a natural to join forces with RP.

As with many companies suggested here, GE also had a brief dalliance with NASCAR. Its GE Reveal brand of lightbulbs sponsored Martin Truex's #1 car in 2009. Imagine how much more natural those colors would look on a Petty Blue 43.

Pfizer - Sticking with the healthcare theme, Pfizer's potential brand on the 43 wouldn't have to be their "little blue pill" that sponsored Mark Martin at Roush for a few years. Pfizer is a huge, multi-national corporation with many approved pharmaceuticals. No question they would benefit by having their logo on the 43.

Channellock Tools - Perfect color plus they've even sponsored a 43 car in the past with a Curb Motorsports' Busch series car and driver Steve Grissom - a former Petty team and a former Petty driver!

Plus, check out Channellock's line of Code Blue tools. A PERFECT color pattern to advertise on the 43 and challenge Kobalt tools advertised on Jimmie Johnson's 48 car. Yes, I understand Stanley Tools sponsors the second RPM team of Marcos Ambrose. But work with me here - its called brainstorming.

Philips Electronics - Again, this company had a brief history with NASCAR when it sponsored drivers such as Geoff Bodine and Michael Waltrip. But a relationship with RPM would be a far more solid platform for them to bring brand awareness to their product. Also, a co-founding member of the Schafer Hall of Fame is named Phillip. As a man who can sell ice to an eskimo and talk his way into Fort Knox, I'm convinced he could lobby to have a photo of himself wearing a 43 hat and SHOF shirt on a cardboard, point-of-sale display in Philip's retail stores.

Korean Air and/or KLM Airlines - Generally speaking, the airline industry wallows in the dumpster. Southwest Airlines is creative with its business model - including its marketing efforts. The rest of the industry tends to be a group of whiners. They blame high fuel costs, labor strife, training and maintenance needed for multiple types of aircrafts, increasing passenger demands for high quality frequent flyer programs (you know, the ones the airlines initially introduced??), expensive airport gate access charges, etc. I think if an airline wanted to go from a whiner to a winner they should sign on to sponsor the 43. 

Imagine how gorgeous a 43 would look with the colors of Korean Air...

...or KLM Airlines. Plus, I personally know many Petty fans who would lustily scream Look at that 43 Fokker FLY baby!

Tech companies - Interestingly, I didn't realize until brainstorming possible sponsors just how many tech companies have logos that are at least in the ballpark of Petty blue. Intel, Bluetooth, and Twitter just to name a few. But two others stand out to me - Dell and Hewlett-Packard.

Dell makes a lot of sense because with so few letters in the brand's name, they can maximize the square inches of decal space on the car. Plus, the PA announcer at each race can easily articulate the two syllables for all the fans to hear ...and driving the DELL FORD... Even Larry McReynolds couldn't butcher the pronunciation of it. On the other hand, I wouldn't put it past him to remind everyone he was the crew chief when Dell Earnhardt won the Delltona 500.

RPM co-owner, Doug Bergeron, is CEO of VeriFone. The company was sold to ... Hewlett-Packard ... back in 1997. A few years after that, HP sold it to another company. But my belief is Bergeron has a few key numbers of HP decision makers in his Outlook contacts. He should make the Fone call.

Plus, HP digs racing. That much is already known. Their 2012 car driven by Simon Pagenaud looked incredible. To transfer those colors to a Petty blue 43 is simply a logical thing to do. Make it happen Doug.

Hellman's Mayonnaise - I admit this last one is a bit of stretch. The product's colors don't exactly scream Petty Blue. But... The King's favorite sandwich has long been just a mayo sandwich with salt and pepper on it. I understand too that Aric Almirola now drives the 43 - not Richard Petty. But whose name comes to mind when you see the car? Exactly. So I think Hellman's would be a welcome addition to the team.

What other products or services are out there that I'm forgetting? I'm sure many other Petty blue-like brands remain that would look good with the famed 43 car flying them. Name drop some brands in the comments below.

 TMC

Beer Tasting vs. Wine Tasting

In our never-ending quest to uncover and discover all things Schaefer we sometimes find ourselves in unfamiliar surroundings. Such was the case this week when I found myself  at The Adour in New York (the boss is gonna 'Schaef' a gold meat-axe when he sees my expense report) comparing our honest nectar alongside something called a Schaefer Graacher Himmelreich Riesling Spatlese. I can't pronounce those words, it took me five minutes just to type them and spell check only approved of 'Schaefer' (no surprise there, everybody and everything approves of Schaefer), so I just called it The Schaefer Grabber.  

 

 

That did not get me off on the right foot with my counterpart, the eternally snooty Bartholomew Chadwick Barrington, a New York wine expert who stubbornly insisted on being called by all three names. When he asked how I would prefer to be addressed I replied, "My friends just call me Willard; you know, like the guy in the movie with all the rats." 

Strike Two.

Before ordering our meals Bart (sorry dude) carefully opened his Grabber to "allow for the proper breathing time". I immediately chugged an ice cold Schaefer-it tastes best when cold. As we perused the menu my dilemma worsened. It was all in French and I had a good idea hot wings and jalapeno poppers were nowhere in sight so I chugged another beer while pretending to ignore the sneers of those around me. Just for the heck of it I added a third and by the time our waiter returned I was feeling good enough about myself to give him permission to surprise me with my entrée as long as it didn't consist of snails and had no eyes.

Once we began the 'tasting' it went something like this: 

Bart: "The extroverted delight on this nose makes me think it would have been louder than one of my shirts when it throbbed with youthful baby fat." 

Me: "This smells like a good ol' Schaefer. It reminds me of tailgate parties at race tracks and UGA football games." I resisted the urge to bark at him.

After a few careful sips by him and a few more chugs by me- 

Bart: "The lime fruit is delicious and ripe. There is a totally exhilarating extravagance to the palate: focused and direct citrus fruits that are very intense. Its acidity is so powerful it is etching its signature on my teeth all bundled up in a tight ball of compelling energy."

Ol' Bart was making me kind of nervous at this point.

Me: "The great thing about a Schaefer beer is the clean, crisp taste. Maybe a bit sweet for some tastes but, for me, this is what closes the deal." 

Bart: "Extravagant it may be but there is nothing dodgy about its harmony-great fruit, fine acid and succulent sweetness are working to create a totally balanced whole."

Me (After two more): "Bart, Dodge ain't racing next year and you sound like you've been dropping acid...and what the hell is a balanced whore?"

Bart: "The refinement this shows is abso-mesis-lutely spot on for Riesling Spatlese of the very highest quality."

Me (Yep, two more): This Schaefer is abso-freakin-lutely some swingin' stuff!" 

Finally, the meals arrived and the beauty of Schaefer Beer won out. Bart's credit card was maxxed out and I had a wide open expense report to work with. I have no idea what I ate but it tasted great with Schaefer Beer-but, hey, what doesn't?

 

At this point, Bart had two choices: drink water or Schaefer. I'll give him credit for being a good sport because he chose the good stuff and, after a brief hesitation took a timid sip that was followed by, "Hey, this stuff ain't bad!" 

 

Boom! Converted another one-We had a few more, went out looking for a couple of balanced whores and, thanks to Schaefer Beer, I never got to strike three.

 

 

 

Racing's Analogy To The Fiscal Cliff

As is the norm, the politicians on both sides of the aisle in Washington DC once again demonstrated why they should have ridden the short-bus to school as kids. I'm not sure what it is about the magnetic pull of the District, but it always seems to attract the most gutless, spineless, short-sighted, self-centered, egotistical, pocket-lining bunch of cowards our great nation has to offer. Worse yet - we choose to send them there. In many cases, we send them there for decades.

So what do we do? One, get educated about the issues. Two, learn who your elected officials are - literally - at all level, local, state and Federal. Most of the bums we have up there start their cronyism at the grassroots level long before they milk the taxpayers of all states. Three, find some degree of humor amidst the crying, worrying and gnashing of teeth.

With that as an intro, I present racing's version of the Fiscal Cliff.

1960 Rebel 300 at Darlington - Johnny Allen takes the fiscal cliff to the people...


1961 Daytona 500 qualifying race #1 - The King leads a rebellion outside the kingdom


1961 Daytona 500 qualifying race #2 - Lee Petty and Johnny Beachamp both had enough...


1965 Southern 500 - Cale Yarborough says See Yaaaaaaaaa...


1993 Die Hard 500 - Jimmy Horton leaves the yard at Talladega...


Late models can relate to this crisis (pick it up about 1:30 mark)...


 And even Kasey Kahne in a return to his roots fully understands the severity of the fiscal cliff crisis (start at 1:15)...



TMC

Happy New Year from the Schaefer Hall of Fame!

May all of you enjoy a prosperous 

and Schaefer-filled 2013!

From the Schaefer Hall of Fame

toomuchcountry, Philly, Paducah, Rookie, Uncle Dave, 

Cuba, Rev. Randy, Bruton & Kuzzin Kari

Happy New Year! from TMCinTN on Vimeo.
TMC