Thursday, February 12, 2009

TMC's 2009 Prognostications

My esteemed colleague of the financial services sector has put me on the clock. His predictions are locked and loaded in the blogosphere. Archiving strategies here are certainly going to be more effective than what I've used before with scraps of paper or an e-mail buried deep in my inbox.

So without further ado, here are my 2009 NASCAR predictions. Drum roll please.

Daytona 500 champ.........The Shrub

[Not My Wireless Carrier] Cup champ.........Jimmie Johnson - can't believe I just typed that. First choice was Cuzzin. But in the interest of having something to debate in November, I'll pick someone else. And who better to pick than the 3x champ, who drives for a crook - I mean the most dominating car owner, and who had little signifcant change to his team in the off-season.

Rookie of the Year.........Scott Speed. Not because I believe he can. Its just that I'm already tired of Joey No-more-o.

First driver to be fired.........David Stremme in the [My wireless carrier yet not seen on the 12 car] Dodge.

Underachiever.........07 Casey Mears. Rick Hendrick was pretty sure he let the wrong guy go at the end of the 2007 season when he saw Kyle Busch win 8x in 2008 and Casey Mears drown in the milk of his soggy Corn Flakes. He'll be truly convinced when he sees Mark Martin run like a scalded dog in his new ride as Casey's replacement. Meanwhile, Richard Childress is now faced with the challenge of "coaching up" Mears. Its taking him longer to mature as a driver than a barrel of Lem Motlow's recipe.

Overachiever.........Aric Amarillobymorning - Despite what my partner in crime has stated, I think this guy actually has some game. The X factor is what kind of steed Chip-N-Dale Racing can put under him. He clearly got marginalized last year as Mark Martin played the role of Brett Favre last year. If, if, if CND can get sponsors for him to run a full schedule, I think he has a chance of exceeding the low expectations most folks seem to have for the 8 team.

Number of races without 43 starters.........5

Lamest rendition of the National Anthem at a race.........Taylor Swift

Will Nancy Pelosi be the Grand Marshall at the Sears Point race.........Uhhh no.

Will one of the 4 manufacturers announce their withdrawal from NASCAR by the end of the season?.........Yes

Will the following win a race?
  • Kyle Busch.........yes (engine started)
  • Jimmie Johnson.........yes (revving her up)
  • Carl Edwards.........yes (burn out)
Now, let's proceed
  • 00 - David Rutabaga.........Are you kidding me? No
  • 07 - Casey I Ain't My Uncle Mears......... Nope
  • 1 -T-Rex.........Hmmm. Yes
  • 2 - Kurt Busch.........No
  • 6 - David Gipper.........Yes
  • 20 - Sliced Bread.........No
  • 29 - Happy Harvick......... Yes
  • 33 - Hamburger Helper Bowyer......... Yes
  • 42 - Juan Big Red Montoya.........Yes
  • 43 - Reed Coldsorespot.........No
  • 82 - Scott Speed......... No
  • 83 - Kris Kringle......... Yes
  • 96 - Bobby Labonte.........No
  • 98 - Paul Mentard.........Yes. Wait. What I meant was "will he wreck? = yes" not "will he win? = yes" Sorry.
Final 12 Chasers but not necessarily in finishing order:
  • 99 - Cuzzin
  • 48 - JJ
  • 24 - Jeffy
  • 16 - Possum
  • 18 - Shrub
  • 11 - Opie
  • 5 - Brett Favre
  • 29 - Happy
  • 31 - Burton
  • 33 - Bowyer
  • 9 - Krispy Kreme
  • 42 - Montoya
TMC

1 comment:

  1. 4 in a row? no way. if you wanted to have something to bet me $1.10 on in November, you shoulda picked 24 11 or 5.

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